Shang dismounted his loyal white horse when he reached the rest of the soldiers. Even if China had defeated the huns, all the soldiers were gloomy and serious. Many others had died during the battle. Shang looked for Mulan. He spotted her laying on the cold snow; her face was pale instead of having those rosy cheeks he always saw on her. In fact, the blushing cheeks made her unique compared to the other ladies, who had to put some make-up on their cheeks so they would get some color on their skin. Anyway, Mulanīs pink cheeks were natural because of the blushing. Chien Po was sitting next to her chanting and trying to keep her awake as he was told by Shang.
When Shang reached her he bent and knelt next to her. Mulan smiled weakly at him, and immediately placed her cold hand on the wound so Shang and Mushu wouldnīt see it.
"What are you hiding babe?"asked Mushu.
Mulan sighed.
Shang removed Mulanīs hand to take a look at her wound. He was both burning with rage inside and he also wanted to cry at the same time. How could anyone possibly hurt a young lady like that. He just couldnīt conceive it. Blood was flowing as a river out of Mulanīs wound; it seemed sort of non-stopping.
"I... I recognized the man... he had served Shan Yu before... I remember his face I saw him the day of the avalanche," Mulan said, her voice sounded fearful and weak.
"War is over now," announced Shang.
"You just wait, when I put my hands on that jerk who did this to you. Iīll kick.."
Shang cut him," Mushu, heīs dead now."
"Oh, yeah, I forgot," said Mushu.
Mulan chuckled softly. Then, she let out a cry because of the pain.
Shang slowly placed Mulanīs head on his lap. She couldnīt help but to smile weakly at him. "Does he really care about me?"she wondered. Mulan raised her eyes and noticed Shangīs arm was bleeding. "Shang, what happened to your arm?" asked Mulan softly. She touched Shangīs wound with her index finger and stained it a little with Shangīs blood.
"Never mind me, how do you feel?" replied Shang, not meaning to sound stern.
"Fine I guess," replied Mulan.
Mushu and Cri-kee watched Mulan with sorrowful face.
"Donīt lie to me please," said Shang in a pleading way she had never seen him do before. It was desperate and aching way of begging.
Well, since Mulan had always been very obedient to him; she actually never said no to him when he asked a favor or something and this time wouldnīt be the exeption. "My back aches, and this... ouch!" she cried once again. The wound was much more deeper than the first time she had it, and the pain was irresistable.
Shang undid Mulanīs tight bun, then, he passed his fingers gently through her smooth, black hair. For a moment, Mulan forgot about the pain, the only thing that mattered was if Shang felt something special for her. She came back to reality when the pain in her wound increased. Mulan shut her eyes tightly. The pain was just too strong for her to stand.
"You need a doctor," said Shang.
"Iīll be fine, donīt worry," said Mulan trying to sound brave and strong. Anyway, she couldnīt pretend she was fine; her eyes were moist and the bleeding on her wound did not cease.
"Wait here, Iīll try to get back here as fast as I can," Shang announced,"Iīll go find a doctor for you."
Mulan reached for Shangīs hand and squeezed it. She begged him," Could you just stay here with me?" He really didnīt know how to react that moment, the greatest heroin China had, wanted him to stay there by her side to make her feel safe. It surely was an honor and he was somehow flattered by the fact. "All right then, Iīll send someone else."
From a distance, Mushu winked an eye at Mulan, but she was so weak to reply his teasing: she simply smiled at her dear little guardian.
"Ling come here!" Shang called. The scrawny little soldier ran to hear his commanding officerīs orders, he was there to serve him, specially if he had to do something for Mulan. "I need you to go and find a doctor for Mulan." Without complaining, Ling nodded and hurried to find a doctor nearby.
Mulan was feeling her eyes heavy and got dizzy. Shang bent his head and said," Hold on, Mulan, Ling is on his way."
"I canīt help it, Iīm feeling a little dizzy and if I sleep it wonīt hurt as much." Mulanīs sparkling eyes were filled with tears. She had lost a lot of blood, and Shang was getting more nervous every second that went by. Why was Ling taking so long? As a matter o fact, only about five minutes had gone by since Ling departed, but they seemed to be an eternity when Mulanīs life was in danger. Shang really cared about her, and he shared the pain with her.
"Look, think about something that isnīt the pain," suggested Shang. It seemed more than impossible with that terrible pain that was killing Mulan harshly and slowly. " I canīt," she said weakly.
Shang only prayed his ancestors that his friend could survive this. If something happened to her, he swore the rest of his life would be never-ending torture. Just the thought gave him a headache. Shang was regretting about not confessing his true feelings for Mulan before. Hiding them was not worth it, and less to know the fact that there was this posiblilty that Mulan would pass away and was he just staying with his mouth shut and not telling her all the love he had been hiding throughout this time?
"Remember the little panda we saw in the forest the other day?" Shang tried to talk about something nice and pleasant.
"It was the best day in my life," Mulan went on softly," So I would like to thank you for being such a nice person to me, and..."
Shang cut her off," Look, donīt talk as if this were the end. You are going to be ok." He sounded nervous and he was fighting the tears back, preventing them from falling. Shang could barely talk because of his desperation.
Was it really happening? Shang seemed so concered about Mulan, but why didnīt he said anything before?
A crystal tear rolled down Mulanīs cheek. Then she said," I canīt keep my eyes from shutting now, Shang."
Shang felt a knot in his throat. He shouldnīt have let her go to battle if he knew this was going to happen. Shang tried to sooth her and give her some hope,"Mulan, you are a very strong young lady and you are going to live through this." Shang was holding her hand tightly, non of them wanted to let go from each other. Mulanīs hands were cold as ice and she was trembling. "Shang, Iīm cold," she said. Immediately, Shang took off his silk, red cape he always wore and wrapped it around Mulan. "Here."he said. Mulan thanked him.
Mulan could feel her eyes each time more heavy. Her breathing slowly decreased and she closed her eyes.
"Are you still cold?" Shang asked. But no answer came from Mulan. Shang looked at her, she was motionless, and so fragile.
"Mulan!" Shangīs voice was desperate and tense," Listen to me plaese."
It was too late now, she had fainted and was unconcious.
Mushu checked Mulanīs pulse. Her heat was still beating, but her pulse was very weak and slow. Shang just didnīt know what to do, he was losing her, and he couldnīt do anything to change it. Shang shaked gently Mulanīs limp body, but she wouldnīt wake up. If only there was something that could save her. Mushu was yelling Mulanīs name hysterically to see if it woke her, but the attempt was useless.
Suddenly, Shang saw a man walking slowly towards them; he couldnīt recognize the manīs face from faraway. When the man got closer, Shang saw it was Fa Zhou. Now, what was he going to tell him? That he failed to Fa Zhouīs expectations. Maybe Fa Zhou could blame him for not checking on his daughter as he expected to do so.
As Fa Zhou made his way to his daughter, all the soldiers stared at him. His clothes were scattered with blood and most of the soldiers thought him dead since he never arrived to the Bai Tao Base. The truth was that he had escaped alive from the huns and he got lost for a while.
Fa Zhou saw Mulanīs limp body held by Shang; it was like that nightmare he had before going to war. "What happened to her?" asked Fa Zhou in a shaky voice. He knelt next to Mulan and caressed her pale cheeks. He didnīt want to believe this was true.
"A hun slashed her old wound," explained Shang. Now he wanted to slap himself for not keeping the secret as Mulan had asked him to do so.
Fa Zhou couldnīt understand what was going on, Mulan had never said anything about a wound or something of the sort. Shang knew he had to explain all this to Mulanīs father, so he told about him about the wound and how did he spare Mulanīs life. "Iīm really sorry for leaving her alone, but it was the only way to..." Fa Zhou nodded and told him that he understood.
Just then, Ling arrived with the doctor by his side.
The other soldiers helped the doctor place the tent.
Shang carried Mulan to the tent. Fa Zhou walked beside him, not taking his eyes off his daughter. Mushu and Cri-kee followed the two men.
"How long has she been bleeding?" asked the doctor.
"I donīt know," answered Shang placing Mulan over a couple of warm blankets inside the tent.
"Iīll see what I can do ," said the doctor examining Mulanīs wound.
Shang and Fa Zhou nodded, Mulan meant the world to them both. Mulan was the best daughter Fa Zhou could ever ask for and sometimes he even thought she was just too precious for him to deserve her as his daughter. As for Shang, heīd never met a woman so wonderful like Mulan. She had made him smile when he had so many pressures on mind. Mulan had taught him that life could be fun although there were problems on the way.
Shang walked out of the tent; he wanted to be alone, with no one to bother him, with no one to see him. He walked to someplace he found a comfortable spot to be lonely and think, it was far from the tent, but at least no one didnīt notice his presence there. Shang prayed his ancestors to protect Mulan, then tears started to fall from his eyes, he couldnīt keep them from falling anymore, he had holded them for so long, but the thought of seeing Mulan so weak and pale was tearing his heart apart. In his mind, he could only think of Mulan, and how stupid he considered himself for keeping his feelings to himself. If only he had just simply given her a sign about his true feelings, maybe this wouldnīt be torturing him so much inside.
**********************************************************************************
The bleeding of Mulanīs wound had finally stopped, but she was still laying unconcious inside the tent.
Fa Zhou stayed with her all this time that had gone by. He didnīt move an inch and he kept his eyes on his daughter. Fa Zhou wondered if these were the last moments with Mulan, and if Mulan would at least feel his presence there.
The doctor wrapped a bandage around Mulanīs wound. Then, he checked her pulse, but it was as weak as it had been since the begining.
Mulan started to tremble, since she was only wearing the little white shirt she always wore under her robe. She started to cough later on.
Fa Zhou covered her with a blanket and silently continued his prayers.
*********************************************************************************
Mushu went with Shang, who kept crying painfully. He had never experienced such pain before, a pain stronger than any physical injury, a pain that was killing him. Shang was very good at hiding his emotions but this time, he wasnīt strong enough to keep the tears from falling and to keep himself from sobbing with such ache inside his broken heart.
"Sheīll be alright," said Mushu trying to make him feel betther, but yet, not very convinced by his own words. The fact that Mulanīs life was in danger, was crushing Mushu too. Mulan was his precious babe, and if she died, Mushu swore he would never laugh again. Mushu and Mulan had been through so much together, they proved they could be useful when they worked as a team, and they had so much fun together. Change was a word Mushu hated, and he wanted things to keep going as they used to be, but he was almost certain they were going to change.
"I want to be alone if you donīt mind," said Shang politely wiping the tears from his eyes. He really looked so vulnerable, and he looked like a scared little boy. Yes, he was more than affraid of losing Mulan, the fact scared him more than facing a battle against a million huns.
The little dragon nodded and walked away. He guessed Shang didnīt want someone to watch him cry since he was taught that he shouldnīt ever cry. So many times he had controlled his emotions, but this time it was too much for him to bear. The woman he loved was on the verge of death, and of course he was not going to hold back the tears when he had strong feelings for her.
Mushu and Cri-kee peeked inside the tent. Mulan was awake now, although she was still pale and she could hardly whisper. Mulan was talking with her father, begging for his forgiveness for not telling anything about the wound before.
"It doesnīt matter, now," said Fa Zhou grinning, but a tear came out of his eye.
Mulanīs sparkling eyes were moist too.
Mushu and Cri-kee walked towards her. When she saw them, she could only smile lopsidedly at them.
"Iīll go get Shang," said Mushu.
Mulan nodded and continued talking with her father. Mushu went to look for Shang, and his little cricket companion followed him.
None of the soldiers had seen Shang sobbing there.
No one had a clear idea about what awaited for the young heroin, since she was practically between life and death. She had a strong will indeed, but it wasnīt enough to survive īcause her body was too sore and weak. Mulan could faint back again at any moment. Mulan didnīt deserve to suffer, not after being such an honorable young lady; she deserved a reward instead for her courage and devotion. Shang wouldn have rather been injured to death, but not Mulan. No other girl was like Mulan at all, she was brave, witty, funny, pleasant, sweet, beautiful, devoted to honor and the love of her family; everything Shang could love in a woman.
Shang just kept thinking about Mulan, thinking she had been the best that could ever happen to him in his whole life. He couldnīt get her face off his mind, looking into her passionate but mischievious eyes, and her smile. No one had those eyes and smile he loved, he could stare at them forever. Who would be there to say funny things? Who īs laughter would he listen to? Who was he going to look up to? Who could draw a smile on his face like Mulan did? Questions and questions attacked Shangīs thoughts, but none of them could be answered.
The little red dragon appeared to his sight again. Shang didnīt want him to be there, not when he was sobbing desperately. Shang had been taught to control his emotions no matter how strong they could be, and there he was crying for the girl he loved deeply. The pain he felt was much more stronger than his own will and it ached more than any wound.
"I donīt want to bug you but, Mulan is awake now," Mushu informed.
Shang turned to face the dragon and asked," Really?" He knew it was a stupid question, probably the most stupid question he could ever ask at a time like this.
"Well, Yes... I would say she would appreciate if you would go and talk to her."
Shang wiped the tears from his face and got to his feet to talk to Mulan. He felt a little relieved now.
When he got to the tent, he saw Fa Zhou coming out of it. The elder man approached to Shang and placed his hand affectionately on his shoulder." She wants to see you," Fa Zhou simply said. Shang nodded and continued his way into the tent. He felt a little nervous knowing there was so much to talk about and confess. Even if the weather was freezing, his hands started to sweat.
Mulan tried to sit up when she saw Shang entering the tent, but he told her to stay as she was and instead he knelt next to her. Mulanīs pink lips curved into a weak smile. Shangīs eyes were a little red for crying so long.
"Shang I..." She was thinking to tell him about her feelings towards him. Mulan wanted to let him know how much she cared about him just before anything could happen; but she limited herself to thank him," Thanks for lending me your cape."
Shang sighed and replied," Youīre welcome." There was this uncomfortable silence between them. Both Mulan and Shang wanted to just spill out the truth but they couldnīt decide where to start from. So many things to say, Mulan didnīt know if she could live to tell him everything she had on mind. If she died, she wanted to be sure that Shang had been informed that someone loved him madly.
"How do you feel?" The answer was obvious, but at least he showed some concern for her. Mulan was pale, her sparkling eyes looked sad, but their splendor never faded away.
"I feel as if I were dying," she answered. Mulan was being honest. Shang could barely hear her whispers, she was talking like that because all of the pain in her body got worse each time she spoke. Shang didnīt want to hear those words, he wished he could cover his ears. Shang gently caressed Mulanīs pale face and said," You have to be a little stronger."
Tears fell from Mulanīs beautiful eyes, the pain increased as she cried," I canīt Shang." She shut her eyes tightly as the pain grew. Was this her end? But still, there was so much to live so many things she wanted to tell Shang, so many things she wished Shang would confess.
The pain went away a little for a while. "Shang," she called weakly.
"Yes?"
"I need to tell you something before I die."
"Mulan, please donīt, " he begged her as tears started to fall from his eyes.
Mulan reached for his hand and held it weakly; her hands looked like lifeless dolls you could move around however you pleased to.
"Shang, all this time I ..." Mulan stopped abruptly and started to cry like a child, the pain got worse this time. Shang could feel his own heart slowly and painfully falling apart. He just couldnīt take it anymore, couldnīt stand watching her go away. To him, Mulan deserved to feel the glory and the victory because she was a heroin, and she had proven it several times. Mulan was not selfish at all, she would rather die than to see others dying. Cold tears rolled down his cheeks; now he didnīt care if Mulan saw him crying at least he showed her that he cared too much about her. Shang loved Mulan with all his heart. " I...youīve... been a great friend ," she finished. With those last words she fainted again.
Shang started to shake her and to check her pulse. "Come on Mulan, I love you," he said, but now, Mulan couldnīt hear him.
Shang ran outside the tent and informed the doctor and Mulanīs father what had just happened. When he finished, the doctor simply said, "Sheīs not going to make it."
Mulan now had fallen into this sort of comma state. Her life was fading away.
Mushu felt crushed, and Cri-kee was crying hysterically.
Fa Zhou and Shang decided to take Mulan to the base, so she could lie on some comfortable bed instead of the blankets she was lying on.
Say it in time
(by Paulina)
Losing a best friend,
the love of your life
kills you inside.
Happiness is gone,
it seems to be the end.
Every moment shared together,
is now very precious
when you lose the best treasure
but you swear you will him or her forever.
Say it in time,
before itīs too late.
Never deny,
the truth in your heart,
īcause life just wonīt wait.
Sometimes, you think itīs alright to wait,
but it only gives you alot of pain.
Now, someone special is dying,
the smile is fading.
Whatīs it worth,
If we hide the truth
and we donīt give it a try?
Indeed, we never want to say goodbye.
Why do we have to lose
and donīt have the chance to chose?
All of us hate change
knowing nothingīs ever gonna be the same.
